lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
