I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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