we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize