How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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