there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize