a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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