That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
