Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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