I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
