They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
