hotel room ftw
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
