she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!