Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics