So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
