Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
