Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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