that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
