Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
