So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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