highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
