dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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