i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
