lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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