i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
