i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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