I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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