North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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