similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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