im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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