why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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