somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
