How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
