i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
