i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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