he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize