This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
