if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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