another moral hangover. fuck.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
