I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
