My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
