I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All the doctor said was why
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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