the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
