i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
