also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My dick has a subreddit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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