no, he came in my armpit
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
