I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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