Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This Girl Makes Latte Art Thatâ€™s Too Cute to Drink
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.