some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?