He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
