Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
