He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
