just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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