I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize