when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
