How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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