All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
time to smoke my breakfast
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize