so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
high people should be assigned attendants
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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