help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
