We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
